March 17, 2005
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Continued from Part One.
Tiger by the Tail - Part 2
ACT III
FADE IN:
EXT. EST. WHITE HOUSE - DAY
CUT TO:
INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - SAME TIME
C.J. is at work when Josh wanders in--
JOSH
Good catch on the Interior thing.
C.J.
What are we doing about it?
JOSH
The president's gonna talk to Wiley.
C.J.
Are we sure that's the best way--
Josh
Leo tried to talk him out of it. But
the president's on a mission.
C.J.
I heard you met with Reed this morning.
JOSH
Don't ask.
C.J.
Right.
Josh paces restlessly around C.J.'s office for a moment.
Obviously there is something else he has come to talk about,
but is reluctant to bring up.
C.J. (CONT'D)
Hey, Pacey McFidget. You mind?
JOSH
Huh?
C.J.
Is something bothering you, Josh?
JOSH
Nah, it's nothing... It's just... You
don't think this place is a boys club,
do you?
C.J. looks momentarily surprised, then bursts out laughing.
JOSH (CONT'D)
What?
C.J.
(incredulously)
I'm sorry, were you serious?
JOSH
Yes, I'm serious.
C.J.
God! Of course it's a boys club.
JOSH
It is?
C.J.
Come on, you and Sam and Toby
strutting around yelling we da men,
with your cigars and your basketball
games with the president. And exactly
how many women do you see walking
around here in positions of authority?
JOSH
Well there's you.
C.J.
Yeah, and I'm usually overruled, no one
respects my opinions and I'm the first
person to get blamed when something
goes wrong.
JOSH
That's not true, C.J.
C.J.
Sam causes this big scandal by
sleeping with a call girl and then
practically gets a pat on the back for
it. Meanwhile, I'm constantly
second-guessed because I'm perceived as
too friendly with Danny.
JOSH
I never thought about it like that.
C.J.
That's because it's a boys club and
you're a boy. That's the way that works.
JOSH
Everyone values you around here, C.J.
C.J.
It doesn't always feel like it is all
I'm saying.
(pause)
So, you called Reed a knee-jerk
feminist, huh?
JOSH
It wasn't my finest hour.
C.J.
You know, the only time I get called
a feminist is when I say something
that differentiates me from either a
doormat or a prostitute.
JOSH
So I'm a tool.
C.J.
Pretty much, yeah.
JOSH
Okay. Well, I've gotta get back to
work.
C.J.
Sure.
Josh turns to leave, then stops and looks back at C.J--
JOSH
You did good this morning, C.J.
C.J.
Thanks.
Josh exits and we FOLLOW him into--
INT. CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS
Donna passes by Josh and holds a note out to him
wordlessly. He glances at the note then hurries to catch up
to Donna.
JOSH
What? You're not talking to me?
(pause)
Donna?
DONNA
I have nothing to say.
JOSH
Give me a break, Donna, I didn't do it.
Donna keeps going down the hall, leaving Josh behind. He
sighs and steps into--
INT. LEO'S OFFICE - DAY
JOSH
You wanted to see me?
LEO
Uh, yeah. What the hell did
you do to Carolyn Reed?
JOSH
Leo...
LEO
It was a simple task, Josh. I could
have sent a howler monkey into that
meeting and he would have done a better
job than you.
JOSH
This was not entirely my fault.
LEO
You equated breastfeeding with
exhibitionism?
JOSH
I may have stepped over the line there.
LEO
I'm surprised you can even see the
line anymore from your vantage point!
Did you know that Congresswoman Reed is
a close, personal friend of the first
lady's? Abbey is not happy about this.
Not to mention you blew our chances to
get Reed's support on the labor bill.
We've got enough problems in Congress
without you running around creating new
ones.
JOSH
I'll fix it, Leo.
LEO
You're damn right you will. You'll fix
it and you'll offer your most sincere
apologies to the congresswoman.
JOSH
Yes.
LEO
And stay out of the first lady's way if
you know whats good for you.
JOSH
Yes.
(pause)
Leo?
LEO
What?
JOSH
It's a good thing C.J. tipped us off
on the Wiley thing.
LEO
Yeah.
JOSH
We're lucky to have her.
LEO
I know that.
JOSH
I'm just saying maybe we should all
appreciate her a little more.
LEO
Don't worry, I'm appreciating C.J.
plenty right now. In fact, I'm
considering giving her your job.
JOSH
I'll get going now.
LEO
Good idea.
Josh exits Leo's office and steps into:
INT. CORRIDOR - DAY
Donna rushes up to Josh and follows him back to his office--
DONNA
Josh!
JOSH
Donna, listen, I need you to call
Congresswoman Reed's office and get me
in to see her as soon as humanly
possible.
DONNA
Okay, but--
JOSH
And if the first lady comes looking
for me, I'm not here.
DONNA
That's what I'm--
JOSH
I'm serious, Donna. I really need
your help. I've got to fix this mess
before Mrs. Bartlet finds me. She is
gonna kick my--
DONNA
Josh!
JOSH
(opening his office door)
What?
Josh freezes in the doorway.
DONNA
The first lady's in your office.
CUT TO:
INT. OVAL OFFICE - DAY
Charlie enters--
CHARLIE
Mr. President?
BARTLET
Carhenge, Charlie! We've got to stop
and see Carhenge.
CHARLIE
I'm sorry?
BARTLET
When we go to Nebraska. I've always
wanted to visit Carhenge.
CHARLIE
I'm sure I'm going to regret this,
but... what's Carhenge?
BARTLET
I'm glad you asked, Charlie.
It's an exact replica of Stonehenge,
made entirely of vintage automobiles.
CHARLIE
Are you serious?
BARTLET
Of course I'm serious. Wouldn't you
love to see that?
CHARLIE
Is this one of those instances where I
should tell you the truth or just tell
you what you wanna hear?
BARTLET
Tell me the truth. As long as it's
what I want to hear.
CHARLIE
Then it sounds great, sir, and I can't
wait to see it and hear many
fascinating stories about the wonder
that is Carhenge.
BARTLET
Good boy, Charlie.
CHARLIE
Senator Wiley is here.
BARTLET
(nodding)
Thank you.
Charlie exits and returns a moment later with SENATOR
WILLIAM WILEY, a man who looks more like a professor than a
politician.
WILEY
Good afternoon, Mr. President.
BARTLET
(shaking hands)
Bill. Thank you for coming.
Charlie exits, closing the door behind him.
WILEY
It's my pleasure, sir.
Bartlet gestures and they both sit.
Bartlet
Bill, I'm hearing some things about
the Interior appropriations.
WILEY
Is that so, Mr. President?
BARTLET
We worked hard to broker that
compromise with Republicans.
WILEY
I'm not letting it out of committee.
BARTLET
It provides $686 million for the
current fiscal year and authorizes
additional spending that could total
$12 billion over the next five years.
You don't want that money for the
environment?
WILEY
No, Mr. President. I don't.
BARTLET
Bill, three years ago I had a
tremendous respect for you. You stood
for something in that election and I
thought you had the character to put
your ideals above your political
ambitions.
WILEY
Mr. President, this appropriations
bill is no victory for the environment.
It completely undercuts all the work
we've done on the Land Resource Trust.
BARTLET
This is just a first step. These
things don't happen overnight. We've
got to take what we can get sometimes.
We'll get to the Land Resource Trust
next. In the meantime--
WILEY
The Land Resource Trust is based on
the simple premise that as we deplete
non- renewable resources we should
reinvest some of the proceeds towards
preserving our natural heritage. It's
the most historic step in support of
conservation since Teddy Roosevelt
created the National Park System in
1902.
BARTLET
Which is why it's such a hard sell
right now.
WILEY
These Interior appropriations provide
barely a quarter of the funding of the
LRT. The program isn't mandatory and
it doesn't guarantee annual
appropriations. Not to mention the
fact that it lumps several conservation
programs together, causing them to
compete for funding.
BARTLET
And these are things that we'll fix
when we pass the LRT.
WILEY
If this bill passes it'll be the death
of the Land Resource Trust. These
appropriations aren't a start, they're
an end. It's a bait and switch
designed to undercut the LRT and
appease environmentalists long enough
to knock the wind out of our sails.
The Republicans are betting that with
these meager appropriations in place
we'll lose the support needed to pass
anything stronger.
Bartlet sighs. The wind has been taken out of his sails.
BARTLET
You're right.
WILEY
Mr. President, the only thing I can't
figure out is why you would go along
with it.
BARTLET
Because I don't think we're going to
have enough support for the LRT, even
without this appropriations bill.
WILEY
If you don't even try--
BARTLET
I need to declare a victory right now,
Bill. I'm facing a tough fight for
re-election and frankly, I don't have
that much to show for the last three
years. I have to take what I can get.
WILEY
You thought I was holding up the bill
as some kind of payback, didn't you?
BARTLET
The thought may have crossed my mind.
WILEY
It was the right thing to do at the
time, sir.
BARTLET
I'm sorry?
WILEY
Choosing Hoynes. It was the right
thing to do.
BARTLET
No, it wasn't. I should have asked
you. I wanted you.
WILEY
Hoynes was the right choice. You
needed what he could bring to the
ticket. Besides, I'm doing more in the
Senate than I'd ever be able to as vice
president.
BARTLET
And in five years when Hoynes runs for
president?
WILEY
Then I'll just have to beat him, won't
I?
BARTLET
Yes. You will. And you'll have to do
it without my endorsement.
WILEY
I understand. Mr. President, while I
sympathize with your position on this
bill, I can't allow a vote on the
current appropriations. This issue is
too important to be compromised.
Sometimes you have to stand up, even if
you risk everything.
BARTLET
If I don't win re-election I won't be
able to do anything for the
environment. The LRT will never pass
with a Republican in the White House.
WILEY
You won the last election. Tell me,
how much have you done? It's hard to
govern when you're always running for
office, isn't it?
BARTLET
I won't have to worry about running
again in the next term. Things will be
different.
WILEY
We're always running for something,
though, Mr. President. Or from
something.
CUT TO:
INT. BRIEFING ROOM - DAY
REPORTERS and White House AIDES are mingling and
socializing around the room. The atmosphere is friendly and
relaxed.
Except for C.J., who is distracted. She scans the room,
hoping to see Danny.
She steps over to CAROL--
C.J.
(whispering)
Is Danny here?
CAROL
I don't think so.
C.J.
All right. Thanks.
Carol shoots a sympathetic look after C.J. as she walks
away.
Still in search of Danny, C.J. runs into Toby, another
person who's not enjoying himself--
Toby
I don't see why you insisted I waste
my time by coming to this thing.
C.J.
Because it's a nice gesture. Because
if we can do a little something to
foster good will between this
administration and the press it's worth
it.
TOBY
When you put it that way I'm
certain it's a waste of time.
C.J.
You know, Toby, seldom does a day go
by when I don't marvel at your positive
outlook on life.
Toby wanders off, muttering to himself.
TOBY
And if one more person tries to talk
to me about that tiger...
C.J. takes one last glance around the room, then makes her
way out and into--
INT. PRESS ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Danny is sitting at a desk, hunched over his laptop.
C.J.
You didn't come to the happy hour.
Danny glances up at C.J. briefly, then goes back to his
typing.
DANNY
I had some work to do here.
C.J.
I haven't seen much of you lately.
I'd sort of gotten used to you showing
up in my office unannounced.
DANNY
It's been a busy week, I guess.
C.J.
Listen, Danny, I wanted to talk to
you--
DANNY
C.J., I'm kinda in the middle of
something. Can we do this another time?
C.J. is hurt by this brush off, but tries not to show it.
C.J.
Sure. I guess that'd be fine.
DANNY
Okay.
C.J.
Okay.
C.J. exits. Danny's look softens as he watches her leave.
FADE TO BLACK.
END ACT III
ACT IV
FADE IN:
EXT. EST. THE CAPITOL - EVENING
CUT TO:
INT. CONGRESSWOMAN REEDS OFFICE - SAME TIME
Carolyn Reed is at work in her office on the Hill. A
SECRETARY steps in--
SECRETARY
Excuse me, Congresswoman?
REED
Yes, Wendy?
SECRETARY
Josh Lyman is here.
REED
You can send him in.
The secretary steps out and a moment later Josh enters,
looking a bit liked a whipped puppy.
REED (CONT'D)
Josh. I have to admit I'm surprised to
see you here.
JOSH
Congresswoman, thank you for agreeing
to see me.
REED
Have a seat.
Josh sits--
JOSH
I'd like to apologize for my behavior
this morning. My remarks were
unnecessarily rude. You were trying to
discuss an important issue and it was
wrong of me to belittle it. The
president would be happy to join you
publicly in support of 1478, whether or
not you choose to support the labor
bill.
REED
Let me guess... you received a visit
from the first lady? That must have
been an interesting meeting.
JOSH
Yes. It was very... educational.
There were visual aids, a video,
homework assigned. I would say that I
now know as much about breastfeeding as
anyone can who's never actually done
it. Consider my opinion from this
morning completely reversed.
REED
Dr. Bartlet can be quite convincing.
JOSH
To put it mildly. But I want you to
know that I fully intended to apologize
to you before my meeting with the first
lady. I sincerely regret my ignorance
of this important issue. And... I feel
very badly about some of the things
that came out of my mouth today. Truly.
REED
(softening)
Just for the record, I didn't sic Abbey
on you. She heard about our meeting
from someone on her staff. And to be
honest, I wasn't entirely fair to you.
You're trying to pass important
legislation and I took advantage of
that to promote my own agenda, so I
certainly don't own the moral high
ground.
JOSH
It's hard to get anything done in this
town without getting your hands dirty.
(pause)
You know, I've always considered myself
a pretty sensitive guy. I never
thought I was part of the problem when
it came to sexism.
REED
I suspect your heart's probably in the
right place.
JOSH
Maybe that's not good enough.
REED
You know, I would've backed your bill
anyway. And I still will.
JOSH
(smiling)
Your support will mean a lot. Thank
you, Congresswoman.
REED
Tell C.J. I'll be calling her office to
set up my press conference.
JOSH
You got it.
CUT TO:
INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Toby is in his office, bouncing a stickball off the wall as
he watches TV.
C.J. steps in--
C.J.
Whatcha doing, slugger?
Toby quickly grabs the remote and shuts the TV off.
TOBY
What?
C.J.
What were you watching on the TV just
now?
TOBY
C-SPAN.
C.J.
Really? 'Cause it looked like Channel
4's coverage of the tiger hunt.
TOBY
Did you need something?
C.J.
Toby, if I didn't know better I'd say
you're as captivated by that tiger as
the rest of us.
TOBY
Don't be ridiculous.
C.J.
What's wrong with admitting you're as
capable as anyone of being caught up in
a frivolous news story?
TOBY
It's not frivolous. These animals
have enchanted men and inspired poets
for centuries. And they're gonna be
completely extinct in the wild in just
a few years. What the hell's wrong
with us that we'd destroy such a
beautiful animal?
C.J.
(quietly)
I don't know, Toby.
TOBY
Anyway, what was it you needed again?
C.J.
Nothing. I was just on my way out
and... here.
C.J. reaches into her bag, pulls out a muffin and sets it
on the desk.
C.J. (CONT'D)
It's just from the mess, but, you
know, since I didn't bring anything
this morning...
TOBY
You didn't have to do that.
C.J.
I know. Do you really look forward to
Fridays just for that?
TOBY
Yeah, I do.
C.J. smiles.
C.J.
Okay. Have a good weekend.
TOBY
I'm just... I'm gonna watch this for
awhile. You're welcome to hang out if--
C.J.
I've got something I need to do,
actually.
TOBY
Sure.
C.J.
But thanks.
TOBY
Yeah.
C.J.
I'll see you Monday.
TOBY
Okay.
C.J. steps out. Toby flips the TV back on and goes back to
bouncing the ball.
CUT TO:
INT. JOSHS BULLPEN - NIGHT
Donna catches up with Josh as he heads back to his office--
donna
Howd it go with Carolyn Reed?
JOSH
The Congresswoman and I kissed and
made up.
DONNA
What?
JOSH
Its a figure of speech.
DONNA
I knew that.
JOSH
Okay.
DONNA
Sam called. He said to tell you that
the thing is in his office.
JOSH
Okay.
DONNA
He said youd know what the thing is.
JOSH
Yeah.
DONNA
What is the thing?
JOSH
Donna, has it occurred to you that if
you were supposed to know what the
thing was Sam would have just told you?
DONNA
No.
JOSH
Okay. If you were supposed to know
what the thing was Sam would have just
told you.
DONNA
Theres no need to be patronizing.
JOSH
I beg to differ.
DONNA
You should be nicer to me after what
you put me through this morning.
JOSH
I already told you I had nothing to do
with that.
DONNA
You don't find it odd that after three
years of faithful service my chair
chose to up and collapse all on its own?
JOSH
I don't know what to tell you, Donna.
Listen, there's a file I need over in
the liaison's office.
DONNA
Fine.
JOSH
Talk to Ed or Larry. They'll know
which one it is. I'll be in Sam's
office. Bring it over there.
DONNA
Whatever.
Donna walks off. Josh stares after her for a moment, a
subtle smile on his face, then takes off for Sam's office.
CUT TO:
EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT
C.J. is sitting on the hood of a parked car, patiently
waiting.
Danny walks toward the car, on his way home for the night.
Startled, he stops short when he sees C.J.
Danny
C.J.!
C.J.
Hi, Danny.
Danny
C.J.?
C.J.
Listen, I think I know what's been
going on--
DANNY
C.J., you're sitting on my car.
C.J.
Yes.
DANNY
I don't understand.
C.J.
I wanted to talk to you so I decided
to wait.
Danny
On the hood of my car?
C.J.
Oh for crying out loud, Danny, if I
get off the damn car can we talk for a
minute?
DANNY
Sure.
C.J. hops down off the car.
C.J.
Okay. So, I think I know why you've
been avoiding me.
DANNY
I haven't been avoiding you.
C.J.
Yes, you have. This isn't easy, so
can I just get through this without any
interruptions, please?
DANNY
Sorry.
C.J.
See, there was a time when I was
feeling frustrated and disillusioned by
some of the things I'd had to do for
the sake of my job. So I decided to
give this reporter a tip -- because I
liked him and because I'd had to cover
up something that I thought shouldn't
have been covered up.
DANNY
You liked him?
C.J.
Yes, but that's not the point.
DANNY
Seems like a pretty good point to me.
C.J.
Danny--
DANNY
Okay.
C.J.
So anyway, I went to this reporter,
and I started to give him the tip. But
he wouldn't take it. Do you know why?
DANNY
I don't think this--
C.J.
He said that if I did it, afterwards,
when I remembered that I was a
professional, I wouldn't like him
anymore.
DANNY
So?
C.J.
You should have taken your own advice,
Danny.
DANNY
C.J.--
C.J.
You knew about Wiley and the
appropriations bill and you purposely
tipped me off at the briefing this
morning. And now you regret it and I
think you don't like me so much anymore.
DANNY
Let's just say that I finally realized
you were right.
C.J.
About what?
DANNY
About us. About the fact that it's
not a good idea for a reporter to get
involved in a personal relationship
with the press secretary. There are
too many conflicts of interest.
C.J.
Oh.
Danny and C.J. stare at each other for a moment, unsure of
what to say next...
C.J. (CONT'D)
I don't want to be right.
DANNY
C.J...
C.J.
I liked it when you flirted with me. I
miss it. I miss you, Danny.
DANNY
Now you tell me.
C.J.
Yeah. Now I'm telling you.
DANNY
Does this mean you'll go out with me?
C.J.
I can't.
DANNY
(frustrated)
C.J.--
C.J.
You know I can't and you know why I
can't. Nothing's changed that.
DANNY
So what exactly do you want?
C.J.
For things to be the way they were?
DANNY
You mean like before with me flirting
with you and you rejecting me all the
time?
C.J.
Yeah, pretty much. You got a problem
with that?
DANNY
I guess not.
C.J.
Good. Well, I guess I'll see you
Monday.
DANNY
You bet.
C.J. smiles, then walks off to her own car.
CUT TO:
INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN - NIGHT
Josh guides Donna down the hall toward her desk. He has
his hands over her eyes.
DONNA
This better be good, Josh. If this is
another joke you will suffer a very
painful demise.
JOSH
It's not a joke, it's a surprise.
DONNA
I don't like surprises.
JOSH
It's a good surprise. You'll like
this one.
DONNA
Why am I skeptical of that?
JOSH
Because you don't give me enough
credit for being the wonderful guy that
I am.
Donna snorts with derision as they arrive at her desk.
JOSH (CONT'D)
Okay, you can look now.
Josh removes his hands from Donna's eyes. She looks toward
her desk and sees a brand new chair wrapped in a large red
bow.
DONNA
You got me a new chair!
JOSH
It's a Herman Miller -- the very best
ergonomic chair on the market.
Specifically designed for improved
posture and complete anatomical support
to prevent repetitive stress injuries.
It's nicer than my chair. It's probably
nicer than the president's chair.
Donna
You did this for me?
JOSH
I still deny any involvement
whatsoever with the collapse of your
previous chair.
Donna
If you didn't have anything to do with
it then why did you go buy me a new
chair?
Josh
Because you deserve it. Because you
work hard and I don't think I tell you
enough how much I appreciate it.
Donna
Okay, so maybe you can be kind of
wonderful... occasionally.
Josh
Did I mention it's nicer than my chair?
Donna leans over and plants a kiss on Josh's cheek.
Donna
Thank you.
Josh
I want lots of credit for this. Just
so you know, it's a really
expensive chair--this totally makes up
for every stupid thing I've done in the
last three years.
Donna
There aren't enough chairs in the
world.
CUT TO:
INT. OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT
Bartlet and Leo are in mid-discussion--
BARTLET
I said I was gonna make the
environment a priority so I should damn
well make it a priority instead of
caving at the first opportunity.
LEO
So... what? We just write it off?
BARTLET
Wiley's right. The appropriations
will kill any chance of passing the
Land Resource Trust. We were taking
the easy road so we could declare a
victory. A hollow victory.
LEO
And if we lose the appropriations and
we still can't pass the LRT?
BARTLET
Then we can say we tried. We went
down swinging because it was the right
thing to do.
LEO
It'll hurt us.
BARTLET
We're hurting anyway. If we're gonna
get mud on our faces it might as well
be in the pursuit of something
worthwhile.
(pause)
When did we get so cynical, Leo?
LEO
Because we gave up on the LRT?
BARTLET
I assumed the worst about Wiley. Even
though I knew the man's character, I
assumed he was looking for political
retribution. What is this place doing
to me that I can't give a respected
colleague the benefit of the doubt?
LEO
You know what they say. If you hear
hoofbeats...
BARTLET
You don't assume it's zebras, right?
LEO
So this time was zebras.
Charlie steps in--
CHARLIE
Mr. President?
BARTLET
Yes?
CHARLIE
You wanted me to let you know when
there was news on the escaped tiger...
BARTLET
Yeah?
CHARLIE
(pause)
It's dead, sir. A state trooper got
it with a rifle.
Leo and Bartlet are visibly saddened at the news.
BARTLET
They couldn't tranquilize it?
CHARLIE
It was too far away. The zookeepers
tried to bait it with live chickens,
but he wasn't going for it.
LEO
They say there's only like 3,000
tigers left in the world.
BARTLET
And now there's one less.
LEO
They couldn't exactly let it roam
around the city indefinitely.
(pause)
At least he went down swinging.
BARTLET
I'm trying to remember... There was a
passage in Kipling--
LEO
Where is the power that made your
pride? Brother, it ebbs from my flank
and side. Where is the haste that ye
hurry by? Brother, I go to my lair --
to die.
BARTLET
Yes. That's what I was thinking of.
CHARLIE
Do you need anything, Mr. President?
BARTLET
No, Charlie. You can go on home. You
too, Leo. I'm done for tonight.
LEO
Mr. President--
BARTLET
Go home, Leo. We'll start again on
Monday.
FADE TO BLACK.
END OF SHOW
Posted by Hannasus at March 17, 2005 07:33 PM