March 16, 2005
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a complete episode spec script for The West Wing that I started writing towards the end of the first season. The final draft was completed on April 13, 2001 and for the hell of it I entered it in a couple of television screenwriting competitions. I tried to be as non-specific as possible as far as when this story takes place, but since Mrs. Landingham's mentioned you can assume it's sometime in season two. This script has been registered with the WGA. No portion of it may be performed, reproduced or used by any means, or quoted or published in any medium without the prior written consent of the author.
Tiger by the Tail - Part 1
"Tiger by the Tail"
TEASER
FADE IN:
EXT. EST. WHITE HOUSE - MORNING
CUT TO:
INT. COMMUNICATIONS BULLPEN - SAME TIME
GINGER, BONNIE and assorted AIDES are standing around in
the bullpen, completely transfixed by whatever is on the TV
monitor.
SAM arrives at work for the morning, late and harried. He
rushes through the bullpen and into his office.
SAM (O.S.)
Bonnie, what time's my first
appointment?
(pause)
Bonnie?
Sam steps back out into the bullpen in search of Bonnie.
SAM (CONT'D)
Bonnie!
BONNIE
(without turning from
the TV)
What?
SAM
What's going on?
GINGER
You haven't been watching the news
this morning?
SAM
I was running late. Wouldn't you
think someone with an Ivy League degree
could manage to set a digital alarm
clock with better than 80% accuracy?
GINGER
Well--
SAM
Don't answer that. Plus, I think
there's some kind of vermin living in
my kitchen, which is just unbelievably
gross.
GINGER
Vermin?
SAM
You know, mice, rats, gigantic hungry
bugs, possibly.
BONNIE
You need high heels.
SAM
Excuse me?
BONNIE
High heels are really good for
stomping on bugs, among other things.
SAM
Well, I don't actually happen to own
any high heeled shoes, you know, being
a man and all.
BONNIE
You should go out and get yourself a
pair.
SAM
I'll keep that in mind.
(turning to GINGER)
So, what's going on?
GINGER
A tiger escaped from the National Zoo.
they've been tracking it all night and
they've finally got it cornered by the
Jefferson Memorial.
SAM
Excellent!
Sam looks eagerly up at the television.
BONNIE
I wonder what kind of tranquilizer
you'd need to knock out a crazed tiger
before it could maul you to death?
GINGER
If they use a triple combination of
Ketaset, Domitor and Torbugesic he'll
probably be recumbent within 30 seconds.
SAM
I am afraid to even ask how in Gods
name you happen to possess that
information.
GINGER
(shrugging)
I used to be a veterinary assistant.
C.J. hurries into the bullpen, making directly for the
television.
C.J.
(panting)
Did they catch the tiger yet?
GINGER
No, they're about to get him now.
C.J.
Good. I broke, I dunno, like ten
different traffic laws and then ran all
the way from my car, hoping I wouldn't
miss it.
TOBY, seemingly oblivious to the spectacle which has
everyone else mesmerized, steps out of his office--
TOBY
Sam, where's the draft for the DNC
speech?
He is greeted by dirty looks and SHUSHES from everyone in
the bullpen.
TOBY (CONT'D)
The hell?
C.J.
They're about to capture the tiger.
TOBY
A few veterinarians standing around
with dart guns and the federal
government grinds to a halt.
SAM
How often is a man-eating animal loose
on the streets?
TOBY
Well, this is Washington, so I'd say
pretty much every day.
SAM
Har har.
TOBY
And tigers aren't man-eaters unless
they've already had a taste of human
flesh. So unless they've got some very
unorthodox feeding practices at the
National Zoo...
C.J.
Thank you very much, Jack Hanna, but
some of us are still interested in this.
TOBY
(eyeing C.J.
suspiciously)
Where's breakfast?
C.J.
What?
TOBY
Breakfast. Muffins, scones, doughnuts.
I don't see any food with you.
C.J.
I didn't make anything this morning.
I was watching the tiger.
TOBY
But you always bring something on
Fridays.
C.J.
Well today I didn't. You'll just have
to be content with the selection of
breakfast items in the mess.
TOBY
Their scones aren't as good as yours.
SAM
That's true. I'm a huge fan of your
scones.
C.J.
It's a mix. And while it's gratifying
to know that I have fans, you're just
gonna need to accept the fact that I
didn't bring anything today and move on.
TOBY
I look forward to your scones all
week. Now what am I supposed to do?
C.J.
Have you considered baking for
yourself? It's really not that hard.
You follow the instructions on the box
and the next the thing you know...
Poof! Homemade baked goods!
TOBY
Yeah, right.
SAM
(laughing)
I like that. Toby cooking.
TOBY
(glaring at SAM)
It's not that funny.
SAM
It is when you add in the image of you
in a little apron with the poofy white
hat--
C.J.
Hello, peanut gallery? Could you keep
it down, please? They're moving in on
the tiger now.
Everyone looks toward the TV--
NEWSCASTER (FROM TV)
The zookeepers have begun edging
closer to the animal. It looks like
they've just about got him in their
sights...
They all suddenly GASP in surprise.
GINGER
I can't believe he got away.
SAM
Yeah, 'cause zookeepers are famous for
their superior hunting skills.
TOBY
Does this mean recess is over now?
C.J. gives Toby a look before stepping out into:
INT. CORRIDOR - DAY
Where she meets up with DONNA.
C.J.
Morning, Donna.
DONNA
Hey, C.J. What'd you bring this
morning?
C.J.
Nothing.
DONNA
You didn't make anything?
C.J.
No, I didn't have time this morning.
DONNA
Oh.
C.J.
You know, other people could bring
breakfast sometimes.
DONNA
I guess.
C.J.
Surely I'm not the only one around
here capable of baking?
DONNA
Well...
C.J.
You can't cook?
DONNA
Not unless there are microwave
instructions on the label.
C.J.
This is ridiculous. I'm gonna sign
you people up for a cooking class.
They meet up with JOSH, who is outside his office waiting
for Donna--
JOSH
There you are. Where are those labor
stats I was looking at yesterday?
DONNA
On my desk.
JOSH
I looked on your desk.
Josh turns and looks C.J. up and down.
JOSH (CONT'D)
Where are the muffins?
C.J.
I didn't bring any.
JOSH
Scones?
C.J.
No.
JOSH
But--
C.J.
(yelling)
I didn't bring anything, okay? Did
everybody catch that? Learn to deal,
people!
C.J. stalks off towards her office.
JOSH
(to DONNA)
What's with her?
DONNA
(shrugging)
Beats me.
JOSH
Well?
DONNA
Well what?
JOSH
The labor stats?
DONNA
They're right on my desk.
JOSH
They're not.
Donna walks over to her desk to retrieve the notes.
DONNA
Yes they are. When are you going to
just accept the fact that I'm
infallible?
She lowers herself into her chair and there is a SNAP as
the chair collapses, depositing her in a heap on the floor.
There is a moment of SILENCE, then everyone in the office
around her breaks into LAUGHTER and APPLAUSE.
SMASH CUT TO:
MAIN TITLES
END OF TEASER
ACT I
FADE IN:
EXT. EST. WHITE HOUSE - DAY
CUT TO:
INT. CORRIDOR - SAME TIME
C.J. hurries down the the hall toward the briefing room
with CAROL in tow.
C.J.
Tell me again who's up for the
Institute of Peace?
CAROL
Darby.
C.J.
That's a last name?
CAROL
I don't know. That's all I've got.
C.J.
What, like Madonna? Surely there must
be something else to go with Darby?
CAROL
If there is, we don't have it.
C.J.
Man or woman?
CAROL
Ummm...
C.J.
I'm just gonna have to go in there
with Darby?
CAROL
I'm waiting for a call back.
C.J.
I'm sure no one will notice.
They step into--
INT. BRIEFING ROOM - DAY
Where a dozen or so REPORTERS, including DANNY, wait
restlessly for the briefing to begin.
C.J. steps up to the podium.
C.J.
Good morning, everyone. I apologize
for running a bit late. We were all
caught up watching the latest
adventures of tiger on the loose.
REPORTER #1 (KATIE)
Have they caught him yet?
C.J.
Nope. He's still out there, stalking
poodles and pigeons throughout the D.C.
metro area.
REPORTER #2 (ARTHUR)
Has the president been following the
story on the tiger?
C.J.
Yes, he has. In fact, the president
has nicknamed the tiger Clayton, after
our esteemed Majority Leader.
LAUGHTER from the press corps...
C.J. (CONT'D)
Okay, getting down to business, the
president will be announcing a number
of new appointees today. I'm sure youre
all waiting with bated breath to find
out who will be serving the U.S.
Pacific Salmon Commission--
DANNY
C.J.?
C.J.
The Salmon Commissioners not doing it
for you, Danny?
DANNY
I had a question about the Interior
Appropriations.
C.J.
Okay.
DANNY
I was wondering what President Bartlet
planned to do if the bill failed to
make it out of the Senate?
C.J.
We've been working very closely with
both Democratic and Republican leaders
in Congress and are proud to have
reached an agreement on these
appropriations that provides some
balance and allows us to move forward
with our conservation efforts. I
assure you the president is looking
forward to receiving this bill and
signing it.
DANNY
But if the plan doesn't pass the
Senate?
C.J.
It would be hard for me to imagine,
given the widespread bipartisan support
for this bill--
DANNY
You don't think youre being a little
over-confident?
C.J. pauses thoughtfully for a second before answering.
C.J.
No, I don't. Now, getting back to the
presidents appointees...
CUT TO:
INT. CORRIDOR - DAY
Donna emerges from Josh's office in a huff. Josh is right
on her heels as they walk through the office--
JOSH
Do you want me to swear, Donna?
Because I will.
DONNA
Who else would find something like
that funny?
JOSH
Lots of people, I would imagine. But
obviously at least one other person
besides me.
DONNA
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
JOSH
Oh, are we in the third grade now?
DONNA
Apparently.
JOSH
Donna, I promise, if I'd done it, I'd
tell you. What's the point of making a
fool out of you if I can't gloat?
DONNA
You're not making this any better.
JOSH
I don't have to make this better
because I had nothing to do with it!
DONNA
Go to your meeting.
Donna walks off, leaving JOSH behind. A passing AIDE claps
Josh on the back--
AIDE
That was a good one this morning.
JOSH
But I didn't...
But the aide is already gone. Frustrated, Josh steps into--
INT. COMMUNICATIONS BULLPEN - CONTINUOUS
Where he meets up with Toby--
JOSH
Donna's mad at me because she thinks I
rigged her chair to fall over.
TOBY
So?
JOSH
I just thought you might offer some
sympathy or perhaps insight into how to
get back into my assistant's good
graces.
(beat)
Right.
(calling)
Sam!
Sam emerges from the office next door as Toby exits.
JOSH (CONT'D)
Donna's mad at me because she thinks I
rigged her chair to fall over.
SAM
Okay.
JOSH
So what do I do?
SAM
Apologize?
JOSH
But I didn't do it.
SAM
Really?
JOSH
Why does everybody think--
SAM
Yeah. Listen, I really think we need
to proceed with some caution in this
meeting.
JOSH
Its gonna be a piece of cake.
Sam and Josh walk out of the bullpen and into--
INT. CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS
JOSH
Reed agrees with the bill. She wants
to support it. We just have to
convince her to do what she already
wants to do anyway. How hard can it be?
SAM
I'm just saying, I don't think its a
good idea to underestimate Carolyn
Reed. Ive heard some things.
JOSH
Relax, Poindexter. Just follow my
lead.
Josh slaps Sam on the back playfully as they step into--
INT. ROOSEVELT ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Where CONGRESSWOMAN CAROLYN REED, 50s, the picture of a
Southern gentle-woman, waits for them.
JOSH
Congresswoman Reed, I'm Josh Lyman.
Thank you for coming.
REED
(shaking Josh's hand)
Josh.
SAM
(offering his hand)
Sam Seaborn.
They all take their seats.
JOSH
Can we get you anything? Coffee?
Water?
REED
No, thank you. I'm fine.
SAM
It's good to finally meet you. I
can't believe we haven't had the
pleasure before this.
REED
Why, thank you, Sam. I can't tell you
what a privilege it is to be summoned
from my basement offices on the Hill to
these great, shining halls of power.
But I'm sure we're not here just to get
acquainted, are we? I assume you're
going to try to convince me to vote for
your labor bill.
JOSH
Yes, we are.
REED
Well, then let's get to it, shall we?
JOSH
Okay.
CUT TO:
INT. LEO'S OUTER OFFICE - DAY
LEO is working at his desk. The TV in his office is tuned
to coverage of the tiger hunt, but he's not really watching.
MARGARET steps in.
MARGARET
Leo?
LEO
Yeah?
MARGARET
Have they found it yet?
LEO
No, Margaret, not since you asked me
two minutes ago.
MARGARET
Okay.
(pause)
You know, fisherman in the Sunderbans
wear masks with human faces on the back
of their heads to ward off tiger
attacks.
LEO
What?
MARGARET
Apparently tigers usually attack from
behind.
LEO
Good to know.
MARGARET
You think I should go out and pick up
some masks for us? You know, just in
case.
LEO
You think a tiger's gonna get into the
White House?
MARGARET
I heard it's been spotted around the
Southwest Gate.
LEO
I'm sure the Secret Service will
detain him for questioning if he tries
to get onto the White House grounds.
MARGARET
It's just that--
LEO
Margaret!
MARGARET
I'm going, I'm going.
Margaret exits. Leo sighs and turns back to his work...
A moment later, Margaret enters again--
MARGARET (CONT'D)
Leo?
LEO
Oh for God's sake, Margaret!
MARGARET
C.J.'s here.
LEO
Oh. Okay.
Margaret exits as C.J. steps in--
LEO (CONT'D)
Margaret thinks we need to wear masks
on the back of our heads to ward off
tiger attacks.
C.J.
Like those fisherman in India?
LEO
Yeah.
C.J.
You think something like that might
work with the press corps too?
LEO
You could always try it at the next
briefing.
C.J.
Maybe not. Um, speaking of sneak
attacks, is it possible there's
something going on with the Interior
appropriations bill?
LEO
What do you mean?
C.J.
I understood it was a lock.
LEO
It is a lock. Why?
C.J.
Something Danny said at the briefing.
I'm just wondering if he knows
something we don't.
LEO
I doubt it.
(beat)
But I'll look into it anyway.
C.J.
Thanks.
C.J. exits and we STAY on Leo a moment before we:
CUT TO:
INT. OVAL OFFICE - DAY
BARTLET is reading a report. He looks up as CHARLIE steps
in--
CHARLIE
Mr. President?
BARTLET
Yes, Charlie?
CHARLIE
The budget meeting that was scheduled
for this morning?
BARTLET
Yeah?
CHARLIE
It's been postponed.
BARTLET
And why is that?
CHARLIE
The director of OMB went into labor
last night.
BARTLET
(confused)
She moved to the Labor Department?
CHARLIE
No, sir. She went into labor, as in,
she's having her baby.
BARTLET
Oh. Well, I guess we can't expect her
to show up for the budget meeting this
morning, in that case.
CHARLIE
No, sir. The deputy director will be
ready to meet with you by this
afternoon.
BARTLET
All right. Make sure I send some
flowers, would you?
CHARLIE
Mrs. Landingham has already arranged
for a bouquet of champagne roses to be
delivered from you and Mrs. Bartlet.
BARTLET
Good. What else?
CHARLIE
Senator Lockhart has invited you to
speak at the University of Nebraska
next month.
BARTLET
Which one?
CHARLIE
There's only one Senator named
Lockhart...
BARTLET
Which University of Nebraska, Charlie?
There are several of those.
CHARLIE
(checking his notes)
Lincoln.
BARTLET
The Cornhuskers! You know, they make
a wonderful sandwich in Nebraska called
the runza.
CHARLIE
Runza?
BARTLET
It has German-Russian roots stretching
back to the 18th century. The recipe
has been passed down from one
generation to the next. It's the
traditional nosh at Huskers games.
CHARLIE
Is that so?
BARTLET
Oh, it's wonderful, Charlie. Fresh
ground beef, cabbage, and onions, all
baked inside homemade bread.
CHARLIE
I don't think that's on your diet, Mr.
President.
BARTLET
No, I don't imagine it is. Of course,
I wouldn't want to offend the residents
of Nebraska by failing to sample a
traditional delicacy.
CHARLIE
You'll have to take that up with Mrs.
Bartlet.
BARTLET
Only if she finds out.
CHARLIE
(pause)
Can I ask you something, Mr. President?
BARTLET
Shoot, Charlie.
CHARLIE
Well, the first lady is a medical
doctor, right?
BARTLET
Yes.
CHARLIE
So why isn't she Dr. Bartlet?
BARTLET
She is Dr. Bartlet.
CHARLIE
But she's never referred to that way.
BARTLET
No, not anymore. But she was before I
became president.
CHARLIE
Why isn't she still Dr. Bartlet?
BARTLET
There are some people who don't like
the idea of a first lady who places her
career before her duties as a wife and
mother, as might be implied by her
insisting on the title of Dr. over Mrs.
CHARLIE
That's kind of sexist, isn't it?
BARTLET
Yes. Yes it is.
Leo enters--
LEO
Mr. President?
BARTLET
Leo, what say we go to Nebraska next
month and feast on runzas?
At a look from Leo, Charlie exits, closing the door behind
him.
BARTLET (CONT'D)
What?
LEO
I'm afraid there's a snag with the
Interior appropriations.
FADE TO BLACK
END ACT I
ACT II
FADE IN:
INT. ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY
Josh and Sam are sitting across from Reed--
JOSH
The president is hoping for your
support on the labor bill he's sending
to Congress.
REED
That bill could potentially cost my
district millions of dollars in lost
revenue.
SAM
Perhaps, but given your voting record
thus far it wouldn't be a stretch for
you to lend your support on this.
REED
Something that's got a lot of my
constituents worried right now.
Especially the ones who own businesses.
SAM
A safer workplace makes for a happier,
more productive workforce. The key to
success in tomorrow's economy is
people, and we cannot move into the
21st century by restoring the labor
policies of the 19th century. This
bill may cost business owners some
money up front, but in the long run
they'll benefit from it.
REED
I'm afraid they don't see it that way,
though, do they? It'd be a risky move
for me politically. Frankly, I've been
going back and forth on it.
JOSH
We're aware of that. That's why we
wanted to meet with you today.
REED
(flashing a smile at
JOSH)
To help me decide? How benevolent of
you. All right, lets make a deal. I'm
willing to support your bill, but
there's something I want in return.
SAM
What?
REED
A press conference with the president
on 1478.
JOSH
1478?
SAM
The Breastfeeding Promotion and
Protection Act.
JOSH
(incredulous)
You're kidding, right?
REED
Why would I be kidding?
JOSH
The president's not gonna hold a press
conference to talk about breastfeeding.
REED
I wasn't aware that President Bartlet
was opposed to breastfeeding.
JOSH
Of course he's not opposed to it. But
that doesn't mean he wants to stand
around talking about it in front of a
bunch of reporters.
REED
Oh, I see, the president is simply too
embarrassed to speak candidly about a
public health issue.
SAM
That is absolutely not the case.
REED
Breastfed babies benefit from
decreased risk of asthma, allergies,
and ear and respiratory infections.
Breastfeeding mothers experience
improved maternal health, including
reduced postpartum bleeding, not to
mention the decreased risk of
osteoporosis and premenopausal breast
cancer--
SAM
The president is aware of the health
benefits and is fully supportive of a
woman's right to breastfeed. But this
is a relatively minor issue--
REED
I'm asking for him to spare 30
minutes--
JOSH
He's pretty busy dealing with some of
the important problems facing the
country.
SAM
I'm sure we could arrange a press
conference with the first lady. As a
medical doctor perhaps her presence
would be more appropriate--
REED
The first lady's not good enough, Sam.
Congress doesn't care what the first
lady supports. Abigail Bartlet wasn't
elected to the highest office in this
country, her husband was, and that's who
I need to get this issue in the
spotlight.
JOSH
Is it the issue you're trying to get in
the spotlight, Congresswoman, or is it
you?
Reed fixes Josh with an icy glare.
REED
I take it we've dispensed with the
amicable portion of this meeting?
CUT TO:
INT. BRIEFING ROOM - DAY
C.J. is in the middle of another briefing. Danny is
scrawling something in his notebook and remains silent
throughout.
C.J.
... A couple of quick things before we
go. In conjunction with the White
House Correspondents' Association, we
have an announcement to make.
There are a number of pieces of
clothing, particularly coats, which
have been gathering here over the last
year. If they're yours, come and get
them by Monday afternoon, or they will
be donated to an appropriate charity
chosen by the Association. Secondly--
REPORTER #3 (MARK)
If any of them had money in the pocket
it was mine.
C.J.
Sorry, Mark. I checked all the coats
and they're definitely in style rather
than out of style, so they couldn't
possibly be yours.
LAUGHTER from the press corps--
C.J. (CONT'D)
Secondly, in case you think comments
like that don't reflect my deep and
abiding love for the White House press
corps, we will inaugurate our first
edition of Friday afternoon happy hour
here in the briefing room today.
Please feel free to come and join us
for a cocktail, although you'll have to
bring your own cocktail.
More LAUGHTER--
REPORTER #1 (KATIE)
What time, C.J.?
C.J.
Five o'clock. It's just an excuse for
me and my staff to come down and have a
good time at happy hour. We'll see how
this one goes. That's it, guys.
The REPORTERS rise and begin to shuffle out.
C.J. watches Danny, hoping to catch his eye, but he hurries
out of the room without even a glance in her direction.
Disappointed, she gathers her things and steps out into--
INT. CORRIDOR - DAY
Where Toby is walking down the hall.
C.J.
Toby!
Toby stops and waits for her to catch up before they
continue down the hall together.
C.J. (CONT'D)
What's the latest on the tiger?
Toby
C.J., you can't imagine how little I
care about that tiger.
C.J.
You know, the fisherman of the
Sunderbans--
Toby
They wear masks on the back of their
heads. I've heard. You were right
about the Interior bill.
C.J. stops in her tracks.
C.J.
What?
Toby
Danny's question. He did know
something.
C.J.
What happened?
Toby
Wiley's planning to kill it in
committee. Can you believe that? A
Democrat. If Danny hadn't tipped you
off we would have been completely
blindsided.
C.J.
How did this happen?
Toby
We assumed we had his support.
Wiley's a major environmentalist and
the ranking member of the Energy and
Natural Resources Committee, so--
C.J.
What are we gonna--
TOBY
Leo says he'll handle it.
C.J.
I've gotta... I'll see you later, Toby.
C.J. takes off down the hall, leaving Toby behind. We
FOLLOW her into--
INT. C.J.'S OUTER OFFICE - DAY
Carol is sitting at her desk.
C.J.
Carol, can you ask Danny Concanon to
come to my office, please?
Carol
(reaching for the phone)
Sure.
Then we FOLLOW C.J. into--
INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY
C.J. paces restlessly around the office a moment before
finally taking a seat.
The fishbowl on the desk catches her eye. C.J. shakes a
few flakes of fish food into the water and leans down to
gaze at the goldfish.
C.J.
Why would he do that, huh? Why would
he tip me off without getting something
in return?
(pause)
Okay, now I'm talking to a fish.
C.J. quickly sits up straight as Carol enters--
Carol
I'm sorry, C.J., he's not in the press
room. Do you want me to call the paper?
C.J.
No, that's all right. I'll catch him
later.
CUT TO:
INT. OVAL OFFICE - DAY
Bartlet and Leo are still talking.
bartlet
What happened to the deal we made, Leo?
Leo
It might not go through like we
thought.
Bartlet
How is that possible?
LEO
Wiley.
Bartlet
He's going to kill it in committee.
Leo
Yes.
Bartlet
Where the hell did this come from?
He's an environmentalist, for God's
sake!
Leo
I believe it's retribution, Mr.
President.
Bartlet
What did I ever do to him?
Leo
You beat him for the Democratic
nomination and offered the vice
presidency to Hoynes.
Bartlet
Oh, is that all?
LEO
It's not enough?
Bartlet
Only if you're petty and vindictive.
Leo
Well, I guess he is.
Bartlet
I wanted Wiley for vice president, Leo.
Leo
I know you did.
Bartlet
The man's got a great mind and good
heart.
Leo
Yeah, but we needed Hoynes to get the
South. Wiley would have brought us
Washington State... and maybe, if we
were lucky, Vermont and all three of
its electoral votes.
Bartlet
Hoynes didn't give us the South,
though, did he? He couldn't even
deliver Texas -- his home state! And
now we're stuck with him.
Leo
Okay, so maybe this once you were
right.
Bartlet
Once?
Leo
I refuse to concede any more than that.
Bartlet
I wanna talk to Wiley.
Leo
Mr. President, I'm not sure--
Bartlet
Just get the man in here, Leo.
CUT TO:
INT. ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY
Sam, Josh and Reed are still going at it.
JOSH
You expect us to believe you're all
worked up because a few exhibitionists
want to flaunt their breasts in public?
This isn't about breastfeeding. This
is about getting your name in the
papers before the election.
REED
Well, I see the White House boys club
continues to thrive in the Bartlet
administration.
JOSH
Ahh, there it is!
SAM
Josh--
JOSH
I just love knee-jerk feminists. How
convenient it must be to claim sexism
whenever someone disagrees with you.
Just because I think it's a waste of
the president's time to address the pet
issue of some radical fringe group--
REED
It's sexism because women are still
being marginalized by this
administration despite the fact we
comprise 51% of the population. It was
my understanding that this president
had positioned himself as a champion of
women's rights.
SAM
Women's issues are a very high
priority for this administration.
We've improved access to women's health
care, fought for the Violence Against
Women Act, and championed Aimee's Law,
just to name a few.
REED
That's just great, but it's not
enough. The right to breastfeed is
about much more than protecting a few
exhibitionists. You people don't even
understand the issue--
SAM
I'm sure Josh didn't mean--
REED
Yes he did. And you were both
thinking the same thing. I'm talking
about a librarian in New Jersey who was
fired for using her breaks to express
milk for her newborn. A mother of
three in Georgia who was actually
thrown in jail for feeding her baby in
front of the courthouse. Millions of
women decide not to breastfeed because
the support they need isn't there and
because there's a stigma attached to it
in this country. The lowest rates of
breastfeeding are among low-income
racial and ethnic populations -- those
whose infants are at highest risk of
poor health. We're talking about an
additional healthcare burden in the
billions that could be prevented.
Would you care to explain to me,
please, why this administration is not
concerned about thousands of sick and
malnourished children?
SAM
Well, obviously--
JOSH
If I could... That's not exactly--
REED
You're both so hung up thinking of
women as sexual objects that you're
uncomfortable with the whole idea of
breastfeeding. The very word makes you
wince. I'll bet neither of you have
ever once seen a woman breastfeeding a
baby.
Josh and Sam both look uncomfortable.
JOSH
Well...
SAM
Not exactly...
JOSH
No.
REED
Don't you think there's something
wrong with that? You can turn on the
television and see intimate acts of
love and unspeakable violence. But you
can't see a woman engaged in the
beautiful and natural act of feeding a
baby. Your quick dismissal of this
issue is not only pompous, but
ignorant. You may serve the president
in this office, but the president
serves the people. These people. You
don't have to like them and you don't
have to agree with them, but you damn
well better be working for their
welfare. Something it seems you've
forgotten around here.
Reed rises and gathers her things off the table.
REED (CONT'D)
Gentlemen, it's been real a pleasure.
I hope we can do this again soon.
She exits.
Josh SLAMS his hand on the table in frustration.
SAM
I'd just like to state, for the record,
that I--
JOSH
Stop talking. Now.
FADE TO BLACK.
END ACT II
Posted by Hannasus at March 16, 2005 06:14 PM